Tool No 38: Names
HOW? Look the person you are talking to in the eye, and use their name to create a good relationship. But don’t overdo it. Once is enough.
“Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language,” wrote Dale Carnegie in his 1938 book How to Win Friends & Influence People – and it’s still true. Hearing your own name immediately has a positive effect – it makes you feel seen, heard and important.
The use of your name makes the dialogue seem warmer, whereas an impersonal “you” creates a less warm atmosphere. So, use the first name of whoever you are speaking to. And make a virtue of memorising it the first time you hear it.
On the other hand, don’t overdo it. Use it once, and once only. Twice sounds annoying. Three times or more, and it starts to sound patronising.
