Tool No 36: Shoulder-to-Shoulder
HOW? Stand shoulder-to-shoulder with your staff when providing feedback. Sit yourself and your customer at the corner of the table at client meetings. Place yourself and your employee at the corner of a table during development interviews. Stand at the side of the conference table when facilitating. The shoulder-to-shoulder position promotes good relationships and creates a sense of partnership.
You can adjust the chemistry between you and whoever you are talking to by standing side-on (shoulder-to-shoulder) or face-on (nose-to-nose).
If you position yourself shoulder-to-shoulder, you quickly establish a rapport, and the dialogue is perceived as constructive. If you sit across from the person you are talking to, the relationship is more formal, and the dialogue feels more like an interrogation.
In one team I trained, the general tone of the communication was very harsh, and workplace evaluations highlighted abusive behaviour. I asked them to put the same question to a colleague in two ways: shoulder-to-shoulder and nose-to-nose. They were shocked at the difference. One position made the question seem like an expression of interest and curiosity; the other made it seem like animosity or an attack.
There is a lot of power in the angles people adopt when talking to each other.
