Tool No 37: Externalise
HOW? What is the issue all about? What do you want the dialogue to achieve? Take the issue and externalise it – on a piece of paper, a whiteboard, a tablet or something else – so you can point at it as you talk and abstract it from the people involved.
When two people sit across from each other, for example to exchange views, provide feedback or do business, the situation always involves some kind of power balance. Whether the parties concerned like it or not, their roles and status affect how they communicate with each other.
What they need to discuss can very easily be coloured by who is at the top of the hierarchy and who is at the bottom. In other words, the nature of a relationship sometimes acts as a barrier to direct commu- nication. When that happens, externalise!
By summing up the essence of what you are there to discuss on a piece of paper, a whiteboard or somewhere else, you immediately reduce the power imbalance. For example, it can be difficult for a junior consultant to provide feedback to their boss.
But if the consultant prints an email out, sits shoulder-to-shoulder with the boss and elicits feedback, the imbalance in the power relationship is easier to equalise, the criticism is perceived as objective and substantive, and both parties can focus on the substance.
