Body Language Tool: Home Sweet Home

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HOW? Points, arguments, calculations and facts – i.e. appeals to the head – should be delivered with a certain amount of gravitas and preferably from the “I” position. I call this “home”. Stories, metaphors, examples, personal reflections and jokes – i.e. appeals to the heart – should be delivered less formally and preferably from the “S”. I call this “sweet”. Your body language should alternate between the two – “home sweet home”.

I once trained a manager who used stories and examples well, but his delivery was too formal. I trained him to step out of his management role when using sweet.

Physically, this took the form of a slightly wider stance and shifting his weight into one hip, as if chatting to a friend at a bar. Once he had finished telling his story, the idea was to step back into the more powerful body language (home) to make his point.

Alternating between home and sweet makes you seem like a competent manager and a likeable person. Remember to include a small pause between home and sweet, to ensure a gentle and smooth transition.

TIP! Try to make it sound as if the sweet content just occurred to you right there and then. For example, casually drop in, “Which reminds me...”, before sharing a metaphor or personal story that you have prepared in advance. This will make you sound like you are willing and able to think on your feet.
BUT... I find alternating really artificial. Can’t I just be relaxed the whole time? If you want to earn trust, switch regularly between formal and informal. The more you practise, the more natural it will feel to balance your communication in this way.